3 continent family

New site

2007-10-26T18:55:00.001Z

I have moved my entries, links and blogroll from this blog over to WordPress. I really like the design and options, and the system is super easy.

If you have me linked on your site, please change the address to:

www.3continentfamily.wordpress.com

Thanks!

2007-10-22T10:26:00.000Z

We had a nice weekend! Saturday 4 friends came over for dinner, which was fun. I made vegetarian sushi roll, vegetable and tofu tempura, spicy eggplant noodles and bought sesame buns from the Asian market for dessert. The wine flowed and we had a great time. Sunday morning though, I was really, really sick. A virus of some sort invaded and took me over and it was, by far, one of the most unpleasant experiences. Ever. 'Nuff said.

So today I'm chilling out, checking out various websites and blogs. I came across a few via-via some blogs I read regularly and suggest you take a look. Vietnamese God
Beautiful pics! And linked from Baby Ella is Provide-N-Ce, a wonderful non-profit worthy of attention.

The topic of ethics in adoption is always a hot button, and the past few days have been no exception. The last 2 posts on Voices for Vietnam Adoption Integrity have stirred up alot of emotions. It's something that all adoptive parents need to be realistic about and not pretend everything is rosey across the board. Saying that, I feel it's equally important to recognize that there are outstanding agencies who are dedicated to Viet Nam- not just in the area of adoption. One of the reasons we chose ours is because they support centers in the provinces where they operate that encourage and assist single, poor mothers and expectant mothers not to relinquish their children and to help them find the resources to be independant and self sustaining. Biggest lesson learned: Feel confident in your agency with your whole heart and mind. Choosing an agency is, by far, one of the most gut-wrenching decisions in this whole experience, but certainly the most important.

And on that note....here's a shot of Utrecht:

mail

2007-10-17T05:12:00.001Z

We received 2 beautiful drawings from Hans' niece and nephew to congratulate us on finishing our paperwork. His sister has been explaining to them what adoption is, but I think they are just excited about a new baby :) That's me in the doorway holding a baby bottle, Hans outside and a stork carrying a baby above us! How cute is that?? They (and their little sister) are the sweetest children on the planet.

Yipee!

2007-10-16T05:22:00.000Z

I got an email from the program coordinator at our agency to confirm our docs are okay. She said that as of the 12th of October, we are officially waiting for a referral! It's early but I'm going to wake Hans up and tell him :)

Life after paperwork

2007-10-15T18:18:00.001Z

This is the first weekend in ages that I was totally focused on my work and not obsessing on what paper needed to be organized, stamped, authenticated or shipped out. I think we are both feeling a weight off of our shoulders! The agency got our documents and everything looks good. Happy, happy! This was my third Monday free since starting my new 4 day work week that I actually spent it in my studio. The past two have been at the Vietnamese Embassy.

I managed to bind 2 books this weekend and make some other cute things. I've sold quite a bit the past few weeks as well as some custom work, so that's been great. The latest things can be seen here :)

Yesterday we took a drive to Bloemendaal aan zee and walked along the beach for a few hours. It was a gorgeous day!

: )

2007-10-12T05:32:00.001Z

Thank you for the nice comments and emails about our paperwork. Every scrap is officially on it's way to our agency. And as far as CIS goes: It's hard to believe that waiting for a letter could cause so much stress! I am thankful that my amazing husband is a bit more rational than me. Here's a hint as to where my head is:

I'm obsessively tracking our dossier documents traveling across the ocean; which as of last night were at JFK in NY.

uw referentie

ophaaldatum
10 okt 2007
bestemming
Hillsboro
afgeleverd

getekend door

datum
tijd
TNT-lokatie
status
11 okt 2007
09:03
New York Jfk Airport
Onforwarded For Delivery
11 okt 2007
09:03
New York Jfk Airport
Consignment Received At Transit Point
11 okt 2007
02:19
Liege Euro Hub
Consignment Received At Transit Point
10 okt 2007
21:51
Arnhem
Shipped From Originating Depot
10 okt 2007
21:32
Arnhem
Consignment Received At Transit Point

Finally!

2007-10-10T16:57:00.001Z

We have our CIS letter!!!!
Hans sent everything else to our agency this morning, it should be there by Friday. The last step is getting this letter authenticated. By this time next week, every scrap of paper should be out of our hands and our dossier completed. Yay!

Usual suspects

2007-10-09T19:16:00.001Z

We. Are. Done.

We are fedexing everything to our agency tomorrow! Yay!!! Everything with the exception of our CIS letter. I am calling them tomorrow to see what the deal is. The weight of this paper will be gone by week's end for sure :) Don't these passport photos just scream 'Happy'?

After we checked and rechecked that everything was signed and in order, we looked at the neat little pile of documents (and 6-10 photos of the Happy Couple). It's hard to believe it's all come down to this. A pile of paper proving we work, are married, not criminals, are healthy and would be 'good parents'. It will be, without exception, the most wonderful thing we ever do together, but at the same time it's a bit strange. Here we are - stamped, approved and authenticated....

I feel like we've been here before. Oh right, last week.

2007-10-08T15:22:00.000Z

Our final Dutch document has been checked, stamped and authenticated. Tonight we pull together 6-10 photos of the 'Happy Couple' with captions, give all of our papers the once over and fedex them to the agency. They will be morphed with our other docs already there, and we can finally think about our lives not revolving around paperwork! We are, however, still waiting for our letter from CIS. Of course. Suposedly it was to be mailed from Germany on Friday, so it should be in our mailbox by tomorrow or Wednesday...It's hard to believe we are about a week away from our dossier being completely done!

Stamped!

2007-10-01T15:05:00.001Z

Today was spent in Den Haag (The Hague) getting Dutch documents authenticated: Hans' declaration that he owns his business, our legal marriage certificate and our Dutch police checks. First we went to the Ministerie van Buitenlandse Zaken (Ministry of Foreign Affairs) where 2 were stamped but one was not: Hans' business declaration because....the signature of the accountant was not properly notarized (which Hans had asked about 3 times and was told it wasn't neccessary grrrrr). Anyway, over to the Vietnamese Embassy to have the other two authenticated, which was a snap.

Kerry in front of the Vietnamese Embassy :)

We are sooooo stamped

As I type, Hans is meeting the accountant to have his signature stamped. Since he's going to London tomorrow for the rest of the week for a conference, we will venture back to Den Haag next Monday to visit the MvBZ and Embassy again. The good news is that we can just about see the end of this paperchasing! Still waiting for our CIS letters of course.

Something else we have decided is that when we find out if our baby is a boy or a girl, we will be keeping it a secret until we pick him/her up. We will tell people approximately how old the baby will be, but details like our referral photo, gender and name we pick will be hush. We want it to be a surprise! Hans is not so sure I can do it, and even though it will be reeeeeaaally hard, I can be strong.

2007-10-01T06:22:00.000Z

Amazing young girl- Ana Dodson. Look what she's done!!

2007-09-28T05:01:00.000Z

This is a shot I took yesterday morning at the end of our street. Very Dutch. Canal, beat up bike...

Monday I start my new work schedule: 4 days per week- Mondays off! *sigh*

So it's been a great week to feel free from the stressful wait for the FBI to clear our prints. No, it's not that we were worried about whether or not they would clear, it was how long it would take, if they would get lost, weren't clear enough prints, etc. But I've had fun telling people that we aren't felons when they ask how our process is going. I say, 'We are so relieved! We weren't sure how that was going to pan out.'

Now we are waiting for the actual letter from CIS. Monday we head to Den Haag (the Hague) to have 3 of our Dutch documents authenticated. Next Wednesday we speak with our agency director via skype (so we can see each other) to check that everything is in order, then off it goes to the States. The only thing I see as being a minor headache is getting our CIS letter notarized. Completing an International adoption via an American agency while married to a non-US citizen and living in Europe spices stuff up to say the least. Ah well. I think the the worst of the paperwork is over.

If you read this, please put some prayers or good thoughts out to protect the monks and other peaceful people protesting in Burma (Myanmar).

WE ARE NOT FELONS!!!!

2007-09-24T07:58:00.000Z

The CIS office in Frankfurt called. My prints cleared on Friday and they are judicating our papers this week. We should get our letters soon! A weight of about a million-zillion tons has been lifted!!!!!!!

(not that there was any reason to worry by the way....)

Better

2007-09-20T05:17:00.001Z

Thanks for the nice comments and private emails the past few days. I feel better- not so stupid :) I walked to the train station yesterday morning from home (about 25 minutes). It's a lovely walk and did me some good. Cycling is too, but there's a lot of construction around the station so it gets a bit hairy by the parking areas for the bikes. If you are familiar with Holland and the bike culture, then you know what I mean about morning parking areas!

So, here's a peaceful shot of the Oudegracht yesterday morning. Let's hope my mind stays peaceful as well.

Sweetie

2007-09-18T17:26:00.000Z

Another adoptive-mommy-to-be and friend sent me this wonderful little message yesterday when I was so mad at myself:

Don't waste energy being mad at yourself...maybe this is because the time frame wasn't lining up with YOUR baby. Everyone who can help and support and push this through is on your side, and it's only a matter of time. Focus on that bracelet!

Big pink bubble of love :)

Not my best moment

2007-09-17T13:34:00.000Z

I called the CIS office today. Hans' fingerprints came back fine today but mine were rejected because I forgot to fill in my birthdate. Me, the compulsive check-everything-a-million-times-girl. How did I react? I burst into tears on the phone with CIS lady. She assured me that it wouldn't take 5 weeks again, that she already sent the card back with my birthdate and will see if she can forward my prints again via email with a high resolution copy to make it faster. Either way she promised it wouldn't be long.

I feel so incredibly stupid right now. All I want to do is cry but I can't because I'm at work.

Trying not to obsess

2007-09-15T12:25:00.000Z

Another week and still no CIS letter. It's hard not to get down about it. I called on Wednesday and was told they were expecting our prints back any day now....

Something really cool: Our agency has started a yahoo group just for those of us adopting with them in the Viet Nam program. It's small, members at all stages (a few waiting for travel dates!!!) and backgrounds.

This shot was taken while cycling home from doing some errands this morning!

2007-08-30T05:14:00.000Z

This is not earth shattering news, but I spoke to the nice woman Kathy at the CIS office (the one I was stalking while our papers were being collected) in Frankfurt yesterday and apparently our application is fine, they are just waiting for the results of our fingerprints.

2007-08-27T06:39:00.000Z

It's the start of a new week and hopefully a letter from CIS...

I have successfully finished 64 granny squares for Munchkin's blanket! Now it's time to add a black border around all of them.

I'm staying home again today, not sure about tomorrow. I'm going to try and stay away from painkillers as this flare up is easing up. Now just have to feel normal again :)

Came across this article. What good news! As we are pending adoptive parents and know well what it's like to want so much to be parents and to be recognized as such, I can't imagine what it would be like to have to really fight for it. This whole issue of adoption and marriage is insane. In my opinion, people who are so vehemently against two responsible adults getting married and/or making a commitment to raise and care for children are basically against love...

Adoption bracelet

2007-08-23T18:35:00.000Z

For a while I have been trying to find a bracelet or pendant I can wear that somehow symbolizes our 'wait'. Pregnant women have their bodies, and since I will never have that, and I'm a visual kind of girl, I wanted something that is special for our adoption. A few weeks ago I tied a red string around my wrist (which is still in one piece and has been a great comfort :), but I thought it would be nice to have a piece that we could have as a keepsake; something tangible I can give to our child to show how much we were thinking of him or her.

Last week via-via my Etsy site, I came across a wonderful Dutch jewelry designer who lives in Germany. Her shop is called Dindi and her work is lovely. After emailing back and forth, she came up with a design incorporating a little mantra that I like and say at least a few gazillion times per day. She is mailing it tomorrow, so hopefully it will arrive by the weekend. A little positive light since I'm having an Endometriosis flare up and am popping painkillers. The good news in regard to that is the new treatment I started in May seems to be keeping these episodes at bay for at least 3 months at a time. It's been a weight off for Hans as well as myself, and for that I feel blessed! Click the image below for a closer look:

Did I mention we are waiting?

2007-08-09T12:23:00.001Z

Our application and all appropriate documents are finally together at the CIS office in Frankfurt.
Now we wait.

*sigh*

Project for the wait

2007-08-05T07:59:00.001Z

I bought some new yarn yesterday and have started a blanket :)

2007-08-01T13:02:00.000Z

I have been stalking the CIS office for days now to see if they have received our application, fingerprints and other docs. I'm not sure if it's a good thing that the very nice (and patient) woman who answered the phone each time recognized my voice today before I was able to tell her who I was (yikes).

Anyway, they have our packet! Just waiting for them to get Hans' birth certificate and our Homestudy- I will try not to call again till friday.

Keeping busy

2007-07-29T09:56:00.001Z

I called the CIS office on Thursday to see if our application and documents arrived. The woman I spoke to was very nice and assured me that even though our Homestudy and Hans' birth certificate would be arriving seperate from our application, they would not send anything back even if we were not logged into the system yet. Yesterday I tracked our package on the post site and it has indeed been delivered and signed for. No, I'm not neurotic.

We've had a chill weekend which has been nice. I didn't get any books bound but I did get some new pendants done. Not my usual round ones, but I think these came out well!

Bijna klaar/Almost done!

2007-07-26T17:19:00.000Z

I mailed the English translation of Hans' birth certificate to CIS in Frankfurt today. That means that our application for CIS is done. And as long as our Homestudy arrives safe and sound from our SW's agency, we should be good to go. Just a few more weeks and we will finally be able to submit all docs for our dossier...I imagine that will be a crazy few days. For now though, we feel relieved that this step is done. Fingers crossed it there aren't any glitches.

My copy of Harry Potter arrived today! Thanks mum :)

2007-07-25T18:23:00.000Z

We spent last night organizing our docs and I-600A application to send to CIS in Frankfurt for processing (the one with our fingerprints). Finally!

While standing in line at the post office this morning I took one more look at everything. Good thing I'm a little OCD because in very tiny print on the application I saw: "use black ink". Naturally, I had filled it in with blue. But for the payment form at the top said, "Use blue ink". I had completed that one first and just kept using the same pen. Went back home, found a black pen, printed out a new one, filled it out, went back to the post office and finally got to work at 12:30.

But the good news is that it's done and should arrive at the Consulate tomorrow. And it only makes sense that because our SW insisted that we send the application today, all of that happened and it cost almost 50 euro to send, that the sworn and certified translation of Hans' birth certificate would arrive late this afternoon. So, back to the post office tomorrow. Our homestudy is, according to our SW, on it's way to Germany, too.

I am leaving out all the hellish back and forth, little dramas with the CIS office, countless forms filled in again and again (such small spaces to write in!) because I am simply too tired. Let's just say it's been an incredibly trying week.

Glass of wine then bed.

Doei!

2007-07-23T05:13:00.001Z

After spending Saturday obsessing on things like the recent VN program update from our agency (travel time), finances, etc., I spent yesterday in my studio trying to chill out and put things into perspective. Since I have a hard time 'imagining' things will be okay, or even living for the moment, I did a few things that felt more tangible. New spreadsheet for travel expenses, re-reading anything and everything about the VN adoption laws, and getting some art done. And because I'm a visual kind of girl, I tied a red string on my wrist. It's a little thing but reminds me that we are doing the best that we can and are on a good path. It has calmed me down on the inside and that's a good thing (particularly for poor Hans). I guess I needed something 'on' me. I'm not pregnant but we are waiting.

Travel time

2007-07-21T07:26:00.001Z

It's a lovely morning. The weather is like early fall and the sky is gorgeous blue. I am obsessing on the current Vietnam update we received from our agency. The wait from dossier submission to a match with our baby remains at 6 months, which is fine. The time between acceptance of our baby and travel to pick him/her up is between 4-5 months. This amount of time to wait is to ensure that procedures for the final adoption are followed and to avoid any unethical behavior. We are happy with our agency and want nothing more than an ethical adoption, but I am feeling incredibly conflicted right now. Accept our baby and then wait 5 months seems excruciating.

2007-07-19T04:46:00.000Z

We need to get Hans' birth certificate translated with a certificate of authenticity, sworn statement and stamp by the translator for the CIS application. I found a nice agency who will do it all in just a few days.

I am feeling a little on the anxious side, maybe it's because we are so close to being done? We look forward to the real waiting period- when all the money and paper has been dealt with. On the other hand, it's going to feel like forever.

Anyway, I know there are a bunch of you out there reading this regularly and I appreciate all of the emails, etc. cheering us on. They mean alot!

2007-07-17T05:12:00.000Z

Last night I re-organized a spreadsheet and color coded all of the docs we need, have, already mailed out, etc., what they are for, who they go to and if they require some sort of stamp. Grrr. The good news is that I was shocked at how much we have acomplished. We really and truly are very close to being done! Basically we have all but 3 documents ready for our final dossier. This is very good news.

There is a glitch with the CIS application process, though. The US consulate in Frankfurt is taking a time out from processing them for a few weeks while they review every US social worker's licensure working in Europe and writing homestudies. This has alot to do with the pending Hague Convention. We have been assured that delays in receiving our approval letter will be minimal at best. The fees however, are going to skyrocket after July 31st so our social worker has suggested we get everything we have ready mailed to the CIS office this week- we can forward the homestudy (waiting for an addendum) as soon as it's completely ready.

Tomorrow: postoffice.

Notarize, Authenticate and get it out of here

2007-07-09T01:57:00.000Z

While in Massachusetts, we went to a physician who is a good friend of my parents to have our Health Certificates completed again. A Notary who has an office in the same building was kind enough to come up and seal the doctor's signature. We brought lots of yummy Belgian chocolates as a thank-you.

Got copies of our passports notarized....Doesn't Hans look absolutely thrilled?

At the Massachusetts Secretary of State office waitng for the following to be Authenticated:

My employment certificate
Both Health certificates
Both passports

After all that I forgot to take a picture of the pretty gold seals before overnighting them all to the adoption agency. Anyway, they are very shiny.

Now we have Hans' employment certificate, our marriage license and police checks to deal with; then they will be sent to the agency, too.

Our homestudy was approved by our agency and we are awaiting final sign-off so we can mail it in with our fingerprints and my child abuse clearance to the Consulate office in Frankfurt.

Almost there...

It's all about Notarizing

2007-06-20T19:56:00.000Z

...we have finally figured out which documents need to be notarized and authenticated in the US and which need to be dealt with here. Another interesting thing we have learned after an enormous amount of frustration, lots of email with SW and a discussion on the phone with Agency Director: Notarizing/Authenticating in the Netherlands and the US are very different. Here's a hint: To be a person who is certified to notarize a document in the US you must take a short course. To do that in the Netherlands you need to go to school for a million years as well as be an attorney. This explains why our US docs need to go on to the State Department for authentication after being stamped by a Notary; in the Netherlands a Notary's stamp is pretty much equal to the whole Notary-State Department thing. I am far too tired to get into it any more now, suffice to say a bit of light has dawned and we are just about certain as to what we need to do. What we are very clear about as of tonight: The Holy Grail is the "Red Stamp" of the Vietnamese Government on every single document.

I would also like to add that my mum is awesome for busting a move to organize an appointment for our second Medical certificate (more on that later but yes, it involves a Notary), and MaryEllen -whom I have never met- in the Legal Department at my job's headquarter office in Boston who has been so sweet in getting everything organized for my Employment certificate. *Sigh*

Tomorrow morning I start my 2 week trip home with a flight to Philadelphia! I'll be hanging with my girlfriends till Sunday then off to my parents house in Massachusetts for a few days. Hans will meet me next Thursday, we'll catch some R&R in Upstate NY with friends, then back to Massachusetts. In between the fun will be some paper chasing and notarizing. Yeah.

Now the fun starts

2007-06-19T05:33:00.000Z

In case you were wondering where we are in the adoption, there are 2 things. One, we are waiting for the final draft of our Homestudy to send with our CIS application and fingerprints to the US Consulate in Frankfurt and at the same time we are working on pulling the documents together for our Dossier which will eventually go to Vietnam. This is the part that is sooo not fun. It is notarizing and authenticating hell. I will be sure to document every exciting step!

Adoption barbque & Homestudy

2007-06-10T19:06:00.000Z

This afternoon we went to the home of our Social Worker, Debbie, for an "Adoption Barbque". All of the couples in attendance were either both American or like Hans and I, Dutch/American.

The Vice Consul from the American Consulate in Amsterdam was there to talk about citizenship and the Hague Convention, etc. He was really nice and seemed genuinely interested in us. I was a little afraid that a government official wouldn't be too thrilled about spending a beautiful Sunday afternoon with us but he stayed, ate and shared some consulate stories.

We met some lovely people. It was nice to be able to share experiences and talk to others who are going through or have gone through the adoption process. It was such a good feeling to be able to chat with other women who have similar phyical issues as I have, acknowledge the difficulities but then talk about Bugaboos and diapers! Hans mingled with a few guys and I am quite certain that they were not talking about either of the above mentioned. The good news is that Hans catagorizes things like 'aparatus for babies' under 'gadgets', so for those of you who know Hans, you won't be surprised that we will have nothing but the most up to date model of whatever the coolest stroller is.

There were two really cute babies there as well. It was inspiring to see them with their parents and know that we are on our way :)

In other news, we recieved the first draft of our Homestudy! We made two little name spelling corrections but otherwise it was perfect. We are really happy with how it turned out. Very strange to read so much about yourself! The next step: Our SW will forward it to our agency in the US for her review. She sends it back, we sign it and it along with our fingerprints and background checks go to the Frankfurt Consulate for our I-600 approval.

not so charmed

2007-06-05T12:52:00.000Z

My married name is spelled incorrectly (by one letter) on my Pennsylvania Child Abuse Clearance form. Our SW said that it might cause a glitch processing our CIS application and that I should call the office at the American Consulate in Frankfurt to find out if I need to request a new one. I got the number and called. Wrong number. Got another number from the website, wouldn't go through. Called a third number and the man who anwered asked me to read the numbers I had out loud. Then he proceeded to laugh and say they were wrong. And he kept laughing (not sure why it was so funny!), then put me through to another receptionist who connected me with the CIS office. A voicemail picked up but I couldn't leave a message because it was full. I called the receptionist back, she gave me another number. I called, got lots of automated options, pressed the correct buttons, then when I finally got to the right extension, no one picked up. I tried this two more times with the same problem. I spoke to another receptionist and she said there was nothing she could do- either someone picks up or they don't.
Sweet!

Try again tomorrow....

Homestudy

2007-06-04T15:28:00.000Z

Today our SW came to our house and we completed our Homestudy interview. It was totally painless but we are happy it's over! Our kitties Appie and Jip behaved like angels so that was a relief. Another bonus was that this visit had motivated us to finish up some home-improvement projects, too.

Once the final draft of the report has been finalized we send it off to the CIS office in Frankfurt, Germany with an application, our fingerprints and copies of other documents. Our 'letter of approval to adopt' should be sent out to us within 4-6 weeks after they recieve our application. It's pretty quick because we are in Europe and the consulate offices here don't process a zillion adoption applications whereas some people back home wait up to 3 months for approval.

Time for a beer!

Next up: Adoption Group Barbque...

We have a pulse!

2007-05-30T16:35:00.000Z

Today we had our health checks at our GP. She's really nice, aware of what we've been through the past few years and very excited for us.

She checked us out, filled in our forms and off we went.

One more thing off the list!

Next up: Homestudy...

Fingerprints!

2007-05-25T16:24:00.001Z

Today we went to the American Consulate in Amsterdam to do our fingerprints for the FBI. This is a pic of me holding up the photocopies. The originals are sealed in an 'official' envelope which will be submitted with our CIS application. After going through security and checking in, we were taken by a very friendly guard to the 'old' front entrance of the Consulate building, which is actually a big, beautiful brick house (surrounded by state of the art security and barbed wire). The gentleman who did our prints was equally as nice and they both congratulated us and wished us luck.

We then met Gail, the director of our adoption agency in the US who happened to be in Den Haag (the Hague) for a conference on Children's Rights. We met at her nephew and his partner's home and were able to ask more questions about the process, about Vietnam, the care of the babies at the orphanages, humanatarian projects her agency is involved with (and where some of our money will go), etc. It was great to be able to meet her in person finally.

A shout out to Mum and Daddy-O for getting my Philadelphia Child Abuse Clearance delivered to the Netherlands. We got it today! Woo-Hoo! This will be added to our growing collection of Police background checks from Pennsylvania and The Netherlands. In case any of you were wondering: Hans and I are not shady folks!

Thanks for all of the lovely comments and emails we have received. It means alot and we love you, too!

Catch up

2007-05-22T08:43:00.001Z

This is the first (and very long) entry of our blog to record the adoption of our baby. It seemed like a good way to document this little adventure and keep family and friends updated as to where we are in the process!

Starting a family has not been easy, fun or private for us. Between September 2006 and March 2007, we attempted IVF treatments. We experienced a miscarriage on October 17, 2006 and 2 unsuccessful rounds. We have no regrets but are happy to put that painful chapter behind us.

Prior to getting sucked into the IVF world, we had decided that regardless of the outcome, adoption would be something we would love to do and that we would never see it as a last resort.

Somewhere in the middle of that insanity, we got married. Twice. On November 11th in Utrecht, the Netherlands and one week later on the 18th in Gloucester, Massachusetts, USA.

There's no one answer as to how we came to the decision to adopt from Vietnam, or how we chose the agency we are going to work with. Through lots of research and discussions, it just happened. So far we are very happy with the agency- the staff is knowledgeable and their practices ethical. We are hoping that our baby will be between 5 and 10 months old at the time of our travel, sometime in 2008. We do not have a preference for a boy or girl; just a healthy baby.

We have decided to work with a small agency in the US. Through them, we were connected with a social service agency located in Germany whose director is a Social Worker originally from the US. He has assigned us a SW located in the Netherlands who will complete our Homestudy, assist us in organizing our paperwork and guide us through the process. She is an American married to a Dutch national and are adoptive parents themselves. So far she has been absolutely incredible- answering anything and everything, a pleasure to talk to and did an amazing job at putting my mind at ease during our first conversation when everything seemed so overwhelming.

At the start of April we began our paperwork. Here is a rundown as to what we have already completed and what's coming up:

Collecting documents or: Drowning in Paper. Yeah, this has been fun. My years as a Case Manager have come in handy. Never did I think I would ever be managing us (although Hans would beg to differ)...but it's not been too bad. What kind of documents?

Marriage/Birth Certificates
Police checks (NL for both, US for me)
Child Abuse Clearance (US, me)
Tax returns
Employment verification
Mortgage/Life Insurance/Wills
References
Health Checks
Homestudy Questionaaire
Fingerprints (US)
I-600 A, CIS application (Citizenship and Immigration Services, this approves us to adopt)

We have an excel sheet/checklist and 3 plastic binders to keep track of which documents go where. The fun part is making sure that anything in Dutch is translated into English (hasn't been an issue yet), the correct seals and stamps are applied by the appropriate people at the appropriate offices after standing in the appropriate lines, and keeping track of which documents need to be renewed before the final dossier is submitted to the Vietnamese government. Things like police and health checks can't be more than 6 months old at time of submission.

With the exception of the CIS application, these documents must be reviewed by our SW during our Homestudy. After that we submit our CIS application with our fingerprints to the American Consulate in Germany; they process applications to CIS for Americans living in Europe.

The Homestudy questionaaire took weeks to complete and was pretty challenging. It consisted of 17 pages of questions on everything from our names, upbringing, relationships with family members, traumatic experiences, how we met, why we are adopting, how we intend on raising our child, how we will incorporate our child's birth country into our lives, etc. Pretty intense, kind of strange, a little fun...A few hours of working on that was typically followed by a glass of wine or shot of whiskey (!)

Fingerprints. We have an appointment at 9:30 this Friday at the American Consulate in Amsterdam. The Federal Government must confirm that we are not felons or on the FBI Most Wanted list. How funny is that?! A plus to Friday is that the director of our agency will be in NL this week for a conference on Children's Rights in the Hague. We are going to meet her after our appointment which is great since we have only spoken over the phone.

Homestudy. This has been scheduled for Monday, June 4th at 10:00. Our SW will come to our home to interview us and review and discuss our questionaaire and documents. She may or may not want to tour the neighborhood, too. This appointment will be between 4-6 hours. We can't be that interesting, can we?

Life Book. We will be putting together a book for our baby with pictures, notes, etc. of this process up to and including our trip to Vietnam.

In between paperwork and waiting (and waiting) there's lots to learn about Vietnam, money to save, stuff to do around the house, last chances to stay out really-really-really late, as well as just live our daily lives. We are very much looking forward to meeting our baby and becoming parents, and are so fortunate to have family and friends in both the US and NL who are as excited about our adoption as we are!

I promise that future entries will not be as long as this one...